Part Twenty-Two

Dawn came, and Legolas still slept. Haldir rolled onto his side and stared down at the beatific face of his young lover. A smile curved across Legolas' pink lips and this made Haldir smile in return. He wondered of what the prince was dreaming. At least in sleep he found some joy. Awake, worry had carved a furrow across his brow.

Golden hair which still held a few of its braids spread over the pillow and Haldir took a strand between his fingers, fondling it, curling it over his knuckles. He wondered if this was the last time they would lie together, just as he had wondered the last time, and the time before. It was making a wreck of him, though he did not show it. If only Arwen would give up her mad fancy, as Elrond and Thranduil finally had. Then Lady Galadriel might be persuaded…

Haldir wondered if it would do him any good to speak to Galadriel himself. How long had he known her? All of his life. She had been the Lady of the Wood since before he and his brothers had been born. She had looked after them when their parents had sailed for Valinor. She had been mother, and angel, and there had been a time when Haldir had even dared look upon her with desire. She knew this, though the desire had never been mentioned and certainly not acted upon. It had faded after his encounter with Lord Celeborn.

Haldir had always been able to come to her in the past. She had trusted him, and encouraged him, and finally given him the position of Marchwarden, which she knew he had coveted for several centuries. Why should he not be able to speak to her of this? Haldir slipped out of the bed, careful not to disturb Legolas, and dressed quickly. The sun was just rising outside, so Haldir knew both where Galadriel would be at this hour, and also that if he hurried, he might get there first.

The waterfall was deserted, despite the fact that most elves were early risers, everyone knew that the pool belonged to Galadriel at dawn. She had not yet arrived, and the water looked cool and inviting... and Haldir knew that he probably smelled of Legolas, and lovemaking, and the desperation that had entwined them both the night before. Just a quick bath…

But of course, the Lady of Light arrived while he was in the water, attempting to untangle his hair. Galadriel smiled at him, and Haldir had the feeling that she had been watching for a long moment before he noticed her. He watched her eyes travel over his chest and wondered if he was mistaken to see admiration there. He stood submerged to his waist, drops of water shimmering as they glistened their way over his hard chest back into the pool. A flush crept over his cheeks and ears as he returned her gaze.

"I had thought to be finished before you arrived," he said meekly. "Forgive me, I will be on my way."

What was he thinking, coming to her to ask for her grand-daughter's betrothed for himself? She had already given him so much. He ought simply to let Legolas go, and… and…

"So troubled is your mind, Haldir," Galadriel said softly. "Do not think that I like to see you suffer."

"I do not think that, my lady."

"You are welcome to share the pool with me. I am left my privacy, but there are times when I long for company. Stay, and we may speak of the matters that concern you. After all, as Marchwarden, you will need to feel you may speak freely with me."

"You are most generous," Haldir said softly.

"I can be," Galadriel replied lightly.

She removed her robe, folding it neatly, and Haldir thought that he should look away, but he found it impossible. She was dazzling in her beauty, willowy and slender and feminine. Draped only in her mantle of golden hair she stepped gracefully into the water, taking an obvious and immediate pleasure in it. She had brought with her a small cake of soap and a crock of scented shampoo, things Haldir usually enjoyed himself but had forgotten in the morning's haste.

Galadriel set the shampoo aside, moving behind Haldir. She lathered the soap and began to rub it in small circles over his back and shoulders. He sighed, bending his head forward, and gave in to the pleasure of being touched so gently. He thought that he should be serving her instead of the other way around, but it felt so good that suggesting this seemed beyond him.

"There is a pleasure in this for me, as well," Galadriel said softly, and Haldir knew that she could read his every thought.

"Thank you…" he said, and wondered where to begin.

"You seek me out to speak of Legolas, and of Arwen," Galadriel said, massaging his upper arms. The soap foamed over his flesh. "You know not how to balance your duties, and your heart."

"You know me well, my lady," Haldir said in a low voice. "I do not often ask for favors, but it seems this marriage is to the benefit of no one."

"The future holds many paths, Haldir, not just one. Do you think that Legolas would make a poor Lord of Imladris?"

"No, my lady, but—"

"I have looked into the mirror every day on this matter. Arwen's destiny is to wed a king."

"And Legolas is to be one."

"I thought that this was so, but lately, the tide is turning. You may be right, Haldir. This may not be the best course after all."

Haldir lifted his head. The slippery soap on his body made it easy for him to turn around in her embrace. They were nearly the same height, and he looked directly into her eyes. Did she mean what she said? Did he dare to hope?

"Lady Galadriel—"

"I know. You would do anything for the Prince of Mirkwood. You would do anything I asked, to be allowed your bond with him, a bond blessed by Thranduil."

Haldir lifted his chin, not allowing himself to feel ashamed. "Yes," he said forcefully. "Yes, this is what I desire."

"You would give up your post as Marchwarden."

"Yes."

"Rest assured that this I will not permit. You will remain Marchwarden of the Golden Wood until such time as all the elves leave Middle-earth and return to Valinor."

Haldir arched an eyebrow. "I cannot say that this displeases me."

"Or me," said Galadriel. She smiled and lifted a hand to his cheek. "Loyalty is a fine quality, and it has always been yours. How can I ask you to break the bond to Legolas which comes no matter my will, or Arwen's?"

"Please, please do not ask it of me. I will love him always, no matter where his path takes him."

"It may take him far from you, at times. Can love survive such trials?"

"Yes," Haldir said. There was no hesitation, no reservation, no doubt.

"Dress and come with me, Haldir. I would have you look into the mirror. If you can vow the same after you have done so, then I will allow the engagement to be dissolved."

A chill crept over Haldir's spine. What would he see? He had never been taken into Galadriel's private glade before. He had never looked into her mirror. He silently admitted to himself that this frightened him.

And yet, he would do so. Of course he would. What other choice was there?

"Thank you, my lady," he said softly, and rinsing the soap from his shoulders, he climbed out of the water, waiting for Galadriel to lead him towards a dark glimpse at fate.