Part Eighteen

"I think it is terrible," Saelbeth said in a low voice.

Elladan nodded, which surprised him. The elf of Mirkwood was in a nervous state. He had wanted more than anything to avoid this dinner and hide in Legolas' talan until it was time to go home to Mirkwood, but the prince had insisted that he come and now he found himself sitting next to Elladan.

"Face your fears, Saelbeth," Legolas had said. "I shall have to face mine."

Legolas had returned from the waterfall looking despondent, but Saelbeth had not questioned him. He could guess that things had gone badly with Haldir. Still, Legolas had lifted his chin, and tried on the robes which had been prepared for his engagement banquet. He looked stunning, Saelbeth thought, and had told him so with a lump in his throat.

It was a relief not to see Celeborn at the banquet, even though Saelbeth was still jumpy, expecting him to appear at any moment, perhaps to try to claim him again, and then subject him to the most sensual tortures he had ever experienced… He shook his head, picked up a cold goblet of wine, and drank it down quickly.

Elladan refilled it immediately. Saelbeth reached for the cup again, then thought better of it, looking at Elladan suspiciously.

"It is terrible," Elladan said sympathetically. "If Legolas marries my sister I shall have to watch him, day after day, and never be able to have him."

"Yes, that would be terrible indeed," Saelbeth muttered.

Elladan knew he had suffered that fate for many years. Elladan laid his hand over Saelbeth's and rubbed the top of it gently with his thumb. Heat broke out inside the elf of Mirkwood and he tore his hand away. He met Elladan's grey eyes and Elladan smiled at him. He could not decide if he found the smile soothing or predatory.

"I shall have to forget about him, no matter what," Elladan said softly. "So shall you. Perhaps we might seek consolation elsewhere."

"What do you mean?"

"In each other, perhaps?"

Saelbeth was startled. Was Elladan attempting to seduce him? Would it be wrong to give in? This was the grand-child of the elf who had in essence broken him. All the fear inside him now was because of the rape of Lord Celeborn… and Elladan was known to be very much like his grand-father.

"I do not think I can accept consolation from you," he said softly.

"I will not force you to anything, Saelbeth. I can see what you are thinking. I am not like Lord Celeborn. I had the chance to force Legolas and did not."

"Such a thing to brag about."

Elladan looked crestfallen. "It simply occurred to me that we have much in common and that it might be pleasant to get to know you better."

"I do not trust you."

"I do not blame you. Few do, any more. Forgive me for troubling you. I meant no harm."

Saelbeth felt his cheeks heat up. "I meant no insult, my lord."

"You are just protecting yourself," Elladan said agreeably.

"Yes," Saelbeth sighed.

The banquet was ending. Galadriel had gone. Legolas left with Arwen, Thranduil with Elrond. He knew he was excused for the night, but knew not where he was meant to spend it. Should he go back to Legolas' talan? Saelbeth felt a small amount of panic. Perhaps Haldir would be able to… but Haldir was gone, and Elrohir was calling to Elladan that he, too, was leaving with Orophin and Rúmil. Both twins were dressed alike tonight, in robes of Lórien, identical to the robes that Lord Celeborn commonly wore. Yet Elladan was dark where his grandfather was fair, and the clothing did not upset Saelbeth much. After all, Celeborn had been nude most of the time they spent together anyway.

"What is wrong?" Elladan asked.

"Why did you not leave with Elrohir?" Saelbeth tried to change the subject.

"Orophin does not like me," Elladan said, smirking slightly. "Yet I forgive him this since he looking after Elrohir so well. It is my fault he is still so thin and pale. He began to fade, thinking I was dead, and here I was sitting around eating peaches with my grand-mother and sister."

The smirk faded and Saelbeth saw the guilt in his eyes. Elladan's love for his twin moved the elf of Mirkwood. "'Twas not your fault," he said. "Lord Celeborn could have taken us to Mirkwood palace instead of herding us off here."

"And he did that out of desire for you," Elladan said. He lifted a hand and Saelbeth thought he would touch his cheek, but as if heralding his request not to touch him, he let it fall away. "How thin and pale you have grown yourself. Did Celeborn not feed you?"

"I chose not to accept his hospitality."

Elladan nodded. "At least now you are free, and can allow yourself to enjoy the tables of Lórien. My grand-mother and sister helped in the preparation of this banquet. Both are fair cooks."

"More than fair. The meal was excellent," Saelbeth admitted. He had eaten more heartily than many there.

"You still have not told me why you suddenly looked panicked."

"I…" What choice did he have but to admit it? "I know not where I should spend the night. Last night I stayed in Legolas' room but he will probably need it tonight. I should have asked Lady Galadriel before she left."

"If you do not mind sharing a talan with me, you may have Elrohir's room," Elladan said generously. "We have shared the same talan since we were elflings. There are two bedrooms and a large sitting area. He will not be coming back to it tonight."

"I should not—"

"I will not touch you against your will, Saelbeth. You have my word."

"Why are you being so kind to me?"

"Is there some reason why I should not? Spend this night in conversation with me. It has been long since I spent a night just talking to someone."

Elladan sounded very lonely, and this struck a chord in Saelbeth. Besides, what choice did he have? He followed the young lord out of the dining hall, back to his talan, which he was glad to see was a considerable distance from the tree which housed Galadriel and Celeborn.

"Grand-father always said young elves should have their privacy. He used to send the prettiest of his lovers here for me and Elrohir to sport with."

"And did you?"

"Yes. They were all uniquely talented, in one way or another."

"Then why do you not seek one of them out now?"

"I have realized, of late…that this is not what I want," Elladan said, leading Saelbeth up the stairs.

"And what do you want?"

"Something more. Something deeper."

The talan was cozy and not overly large or ornate, which surprised Saelbeth somewhat, but Elladan was clearly right at home. He showed Saelbeth Elrohir's bedroom, which indeed looked unused. Elladan produced a bottle of wine and two glasses. Saelbeth did not hesitate in joining him in a drink. How could he? Elladan had been very kind to him.

And maybe, just maybe… they wanted the same thing, after all.